Episode 1 – Business Networking and Event Strategies with Emily Merrell

Justin Keltner  0:00  

Today I'm honored to be here with Emily Merrell, good friend of mine and colleague who is the founder and community curator of an organization called Six Degrees society. And she works with 1000s of ambitious women to get what they want in both the professional and the personal lives. Welcome to the show. Emily, how are you doing? 

Emily Merrell  0:19  

So great. Thank you so much for having me, Justin. So fun to be here. awesome thing. It's also fun to be on the interviewing side or interviewed side of things. I'm typically doing the interviews. So what a treat.

Justin Keltner  0:34  

It's really, really great to have you here. Yeah, they call Emily 20 questions because she loves interviewing people kind of getting getting their stories out of them. And yeah, just just learning more about people. So I'm really excited. I was a very precocious child. So imagine. So tell us, tell us just a little bit about kind of yourself and your background and how you got started in entrepreneurship. 

Emily Merrell  0:59  

I think entrepreneurship was probably in my blood. But it was definitely something like an allergy, you kind of avoid it for a while you try to keep pushing through eating the gluten, even though your stomach's hurting afterwards, I knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur. And even while working in the corporate world, I felt like I was like an undercover entrepreneur, I knew I was my time there was limited and that I was just soaking up all the information in the in the corporate space before I went out on my own. So when I started my career, I started it and funny enough special events and marketing for high luxury fashion companies. I had landed my role right off of living in Argentina, a year after college. So I had gone from being this like super chill, like material goods or silly type person to going to Ralph Lauren, and high luxury, where all we cared about was how you looked and selling an experience and product. After about five years in the corporate world, doing special events and marketing, I continue to having this itch. And I started surrounding myself with more entrepreneurs, and learning their stories. And I ended up by accident kind of taking this backseat role as like a facilitator, introducing entrepreneurs to other entrepreneurs, and people across all industries. It wasn't just entrepreneurial, specific at this point. And it was interesting, because I, I knew I still had this entrepreneurial desire, but I was like, I need to wonder when that idea is gonna hit me. I wonder when I'm going to come up with a product or a service or offering that makes sense. Simultaneously, I was building my business 60 degrees society, but at the time didn't think of it as a business. It really was just this place where I was gathering individuals, and I was curating who they met. And these entrepreneurs sat me down, and they're like, Emily, this is your business, it's time for you to take this to the next level. And I was so reluctant to believe them. Because again, my idea of entrepreneurship was I needed to create the new, the new sneaker, the new product that's going to revolutionize the world. So I'm really grateful for the community and the individuals who've pushed me out of my comfort zone, and told me to look in the mirror and look at what I was building, which was so easy to me. So it felt like it shouldn't have been a business it wasn't allowed to be a business. And, you know, with their coaching and their their advice, I ended up leaving my corporate job at the end of 2015 giving myself a two year window to see if I could make this boat float. And yeah, it's now five years later, and I went from curating events weekly in New York City to expand into 10 markets all over the country to introducing a business coaching arm of my business, masterminding arm of my business, and then pivoting completely digital thanks to a pandemic.

Justin Keltner  3:55  

So what would you say? Like the number one problem that, you know, you really tried to solve was when you created Six Degrees society? It sounds like it almost came just out of what you were doing anyway. But if if you would, if you would, if you'd say like, you know, what's the number one problem that you saw, kind of in the networking realm or or just in that space overall? What would you say that it was at the time? And how did you kind of solve that?

Emily Merrell  4:24  

So at the time, I saw that women really struggled to brag about themselves. So I would I would be at a dinner party and I would have two friends that had connected or I've kind of casually introduced to each other. At the end of the night, I would ask that friend to be like, Did you guys put together that you're doing something similar and that you need to collaborate? She would be really helpful in managing your PR, he or she would be really helpful in doing X, Y and Z. And typically they wouldn't. They're like, No, we talked about the bachelor, or we talked about something really, it felt very superficial. And the other problem that I saw, there's several problems stressed. And so that was the high level one was just women sucked at bragging. So at all of our events, I have individuals submit their bios pre advance, so that way they can kind of write down their brags versus just articulating them. And then the attendees can read through them, as well as each individual's hand picked to match with other people. So they'll meet two people for 15 minutes each. And so you rather than me going into a conversation and being like, Where are you from? What do you do, I'm able to jump right in to the meat and potatoes of getting to know a human. Then the second problem that I had to as when I was introducing girlfriends, and like a space that was a birthday party, or a dinner party, friends would always forever brand those interactions as Emily's friend so and so. And women in particular, are pretty territorial about friends. So if I found out someone I introduced at a dinner party was hanging out without me, I might feel left out, or they might feel left out if the situation was reversed. So I wanted to create a neutral space where it wasn't an association to a person. It's Justin's friend, it's not Justin's friend anymore. It's it's all kind of equal playing ground. So those were the biggest, those were the two biggest problem I had. And then the third one was, I was so frustrated when I went to networking events, and being judged by what I did. And I couldn't really explain the problem, or what I was seeking out. So I worked at a great brand. So people would look at my name tag and ask me like, Can I get a discount. And here I was attending networking events, trying to figure out who I was and what my purpose was. And if I wanted to leave the industry as a whole, but because I was representing a brand, I couldn't put my, I couldn't put that side of me forward. So being able to kind of speak your truth at a networking event was was the third problem I saw.

Justin Keltner  6:58  

And I think that's, that's a big challenge, both for men and women is really being able to go to an event and be authentic, like, express themselves authentically, really connect with people in a way that's not just throwing out business cards. I mean, I remember when I started my agency, in the Bay Area in 2011, all those events that I was going to, you know, you would go to a chamber event, you would go to one of those breakfast meetings and introduce yourself for a minute, and here's my card, and here's my card and, and it's like, hey, there's got to be a better way. So I really, I really respect and appreciate the work that you do in terms of really helping people develop those authentic connections. Because to me, that seems like what really moves the world forward is not just you know, I'm I do this, right, but, but instead saying, This is who I am, this is what I bring to the world, this is the value that I bring. This is how maybe we can work together and support each other.

Emily Merrell  7:54  

Yeah. And I also recognize I'm so with you on the business card thing, I went to one DNI and I lost 100 business cards there, and I never printed business cards again, I was like this was a waste of paper and just like economically doesn't make sense. I don't want you to have my business card. And two were friends. First, I think the people that I often collaborate with and do business with and are willing to bend over backwards with our friends. And they are people that I met at networking organizations are at at various events. And because I've nurtured those relationships, so that much more willing to, to do a favor or lend a hand when the time comes versus everything being a transaction. So I think networking really does need to be reimagined and needs to be reframed, because a lot of times people think of it as this transactional thing, and it really shouldn't be.

Justin Keltner  8:53  

I'm curious, what are your sort of tips for making networking a little bit less transactional? Let's say and now, you know, we're kind of in these times of the of the pandemic, and everything is kind of virtual. So in some cases, it's better. In some cases, it's worse. But whether people are going to events in person, whether they're going to, you know, events over zoom, what are some pointers that you have for my audience as to how they can really build those those deeper connections? And those I guess, business friendships, as you call them?

Emily Merrell  9:27  

Yeah, I love that. So we'll start with in person first, because there's some there's some similarities with both. But there are some tips that I think you can use better in person looking for social cues. So if you're in person, that means like say someone's wearing a hat from a certain a certain location or certain college, or if they have in making a connection to that and asking and striking up a conversation based on that that hat so like, Oh, I saw you went to you. My cousin went to yell Do you know my cousin, so and so Though, and you're able to kind of humanize the experience of the people that you know, and also bring together, bring together what the different what that connection point is a lot faster. The other thing I always love to use is my phone and having a really strategic picture on my phone, we had a picture of your dog, you had a picture of your beautiful destination or a baby or a wedding. It's a great talking point and leveraging the screen and saying something like, Oh, is that your dog? Oh, is that your child? And you can get a gauge of where the person is with things like, Oh, yeah, that's my baby. She's one years old, oh, I just had a baby too. And you're able to make that human connection to a person. So it's really not about what that person does. And it's more about just looking around. For women in particular, I always recommend wearing like a bolt earring or lipstick or something that's really easy to compliment. Men can do this too. You can do with socks or shirts, but something that's easy to strike up a conversation about. So when I go to a networking event, you usually see me with like a bright red lipstick and like dangly earrings, but women will come up to me and ask me where I got my earrings from. It's a super easy conversation starter. And then the last one that I love in person that works in any city that you live in, or visiting, is talking about traffic, and talking how you got to that particular place. For example, a lot of times I'll run like, maybe a little bit late, and I'll be like, Oh, I feel so embarrassed. I'm late tonight. The subway was the subway was down. And then from there, you can say well, what subway where you're taking? Oh, I was taking the F train. Oh, really? I took it earlier. Where do you work? Oh, I work in Midtown. I work in Midtown. And just by this interaction of traffic, you get an understanding of like, where they're working in the city. You could also then at that point, ask, oh, I'm in the spirit Lehigh building? Oh, no way I am too. I'm at torey at Tommy Hilfiger on the seventh floor, whatever it might be. But again, it's a great way to utilize connection. And then switching gears to digital. I think at most events that people are doing introductions, or at least the events I've hosted and attended. And so when people are doing introductions, I typically use the chat as a way to, like follow up with the person. So for example, the other day I met and micro influencer, I think she's actually a macro influencer. And she has she lives on a farm in Danville, California, and she has piglets. And I was like, Oh my gosh, this woman is my dream. Best friends like to hang out with Piglet piglets with you. And I told her that. So I reached out and I go, so when can we become best friends. And in a way, she responded, immediately we exchanged information immediately, there's this barrier that's dropped in that intimidation that is dropped, kind of making an ask of someone or, or girl or guy flirting with a person. So I love the chat. And I love like being able to, to follow up and find a connection and be like, I'm in San Francisco, too. That's great. We should connect further. And use this little introduction says jump off points.

Justin Keltner  13:17  

Those are a lot of great insights. I think that the key takeaway there is really, you need to establish rapport first. And you need to really understand that person, as a human, and understand that person as who they are. Before you even get into the context of like, how can I help you? How can you help me? Because, like, with the whole business card scenario, people usually tried to just get get right to business first, and it doesn't work because people need to know like, and trust you. And I think like to your point, yeah, it's like they're not gonna, they're not gonna care how much you know, unless you know how much they care. So you build that rapport, you introduce yourself, you connect with something that's important to them. And then that's where you can kind of further the engagement and take it offline and and say, Hey, you know, I want to, I want to talk to you, let's grab a coffee. Let's let's hop on

Emily Merrell  14:08  

that point to the follow up. I think this was one of the hardest things to do both in person. And in digitally. I know, one of the common themes or questions I always get is how do you leave a conversation? How do you leave a conversation and not get stuck with someone or hang out with someone the whole entire night? And so for me, both digitally, and in real life, I like to come with a back with a backup plan or like a plan in my back pocket essentially. So for me I'm, again, I'm fortunate I do have an event series so it's easy. It's an easy lift for me to ask someone if they want to join an upcoming event as my guest so it'd be like Justin, it was so great connecting. I'd love to invite you to join one of my events as my guest. There's no cost associated you feel special as the invite And we now have a date on the calendar. Well back in person, you know, if you don't have an event series or you don't have a blog, or you don't have something that you can offer as a gift, I would find something that we did in common as I often gravitated to people who love to work out. And as much as I love to work out, I belong to this super cool co working space that had workout studios. I had a workout studio within so I'd invite people. And similarly, I'd be like, do you want to schedule like an early morning workout class where we can hold each other accountable? And then grab a coffee afterwards? And we can we can chat about our world domination plan? and 98% of people said, Yes, and would join me at 7am and get me out of bed. And we would start the morning together. And it was a very humanizing experience.

Justin Keltner  15:51  

Yeah, those are, those are really good ideas. I never I've never heard of that last one, like, hey, let's, you know, let's be workout buddies. Let's, let's go, let's go to the gym. Let's do yoga in the morning.

Emily Merrell  16:01  

Yeah, it was a I mean, selfishly, it was a win win situation, I got to kill two birds with one stone. But, you know, same thing can be said if you belong to like a co working space or have you have something cool coming up, I always love to go into a networking event prepared to invite someone to something. So then it's easier for me to make plans versus like coming up with a plan on the spot.

Justin Keltner  16:27  

It sounds like being prepared is really one of the one of the keys there. Having having that event having that thing that you can share with them. That happens after the networking event, instead of just kind of going in there without a plan. just hoping to meet people, there's got to be a plan, there's got to be something kind of underlying that, like a social container, if you will, where you can bring people.

Emily Merrell  16:46  

And also just like, again, if you're like I live in Alaska, I've gotten that none of these things, I don't know what to do, our time zones don't work out. You can also say you're having a conversation, we actually have a member from Alaska. So I love referencing her will talk about sweaters to wear in the winter. And so if I saw a cool sweater that made me think of her, maybe I'd forwarded along to her and be like this made me think of you, you know, hope you're staying warm and cozy and Alaska in February. It's still still a give, but not necessarily. You're staying Top of Mind, you're staying relevant. But you're not. You're not asking anything of anyone.

Justin Keltner  17:27  

Thanks for this great kind of networking and follow up tips. So I want to talk now a little bit about events. So obviously, you've produced a lot of events, both in person, and virtually, maybe specifically to where you were doing different kinds of events, like for sponsorships for corporations. Or if you'd like an even any of your own events. What was kind of the most interesting or the most fun event that you put together?

Emily Merrell  17:53  

Great question. Um, so it's always fun when we're doing sponsored events. And we do sponsored events in conjunction with our community with six degrees society. So a lot of times, I'll start with, I love singing songs in my head, I probably look like a crazy person walking down the streets, just singing, singing songs, or whatnot. And when I get a theme in my brain, I cannot let it go. So so maybe songs will inspire me or like I'll meet someone and then the idea will happen, and then I'll have to make it come to fruition. So I'll give an example of an in person event where that was the case. And then I'll give an example of a digital one. So in person, there was this brand called the honeypot CO and they are a feminine hygiene. Like wellness brands like tampons, and feminine products, basically, totally up your alley, Justin, right, like every everyday use. And I loved the idea I love like uncomfortable making people really uncomfortable, but in a good way, like out of their comfort zone. So the founders super cool. And I pitched her this idea of creating something called the vagina dialogues, an intimate conversation about your intimates. So a play on the Vagina Monologues. And then I pitched that and I was like, is this something you'd be interested in, you know, it's a sponsored event, we can make it a like multi city tour. And she's like, I love it. You're, you know, we're totally in there, the lead sponsor will say in presentation with the name, the organization's name. And then she's like, but you're responsible for bringing in the rest of the panelists. And that's the most fun for me, because then I get to really be selective and handpick people based in the cities that I think would be a good, well rounded representation. So that those are an example of something we did in multi cities. And then and then also we get a follow it up with like a blog and an article in a goodie bag. And most of my events do not have all those components around it. And then for digitally same thing I recently, as of 2019, I'd fallen in love with this app called digit basically takes out like one to $10 a day out of your bank account and helps you create a savings account without you even thinking about savings. And I was looking high and low for someone who worked at digit and found that on LinkedIn by being active on LinkedIn, that a member of our community started a job there. I pitched Sure, monthly, like I was like, This is the angle, this is what I'm thinking, we just had the event in January, and we were able to do it digitally. And digital is such an easy, much easier lift for me, where you're not having to logistically like get cheeseboards, and photographers and all of the moving pieces. And were able to bring in more people into one, one setting at one time. So it was really fun to be able to, to stock a brand so hard, and then get in front of them. And pitch that idea after knowing that I wanted to work with that particular brand versus I knew I wanted to do the vagina dialogues. And I happen to know honey pot was able to marry the ideas together.

Justin Keltner  21:01  

Cool, so kind of different, different approaches. Right? One is, one is sort of like, hey, this idea popped up in my head, and I wanted to create this. And then the other is, okay, I've got this company in this resource in this resource, like how do we marry them together, kind of bring them together?

Emily Merrell  21:16  

Yeah, like something that's been stuck in my head is doing something with secret deodorant, and be like the secret to success like a panel and then candid, but it's like a braces company or like a, you have a teeth adjustment, they have beautiful spaces. This is back in the back in the day when things were in real life. And I was like, it would be so fun to do a series called candid conversations, and bring in like a DI person and just talk about, like, integrate it to the theme of braces. But like it's a very low level, it's an element, but it's not like the focal point. But it's still benefiting the brand embedded benefiting the users talking about something that's like a shift or a change.

Justin Keltner  21:59  

So kind of kind of combining those worlds of entrepreneurship and, and thought leadership with the corporate sponsorship. Correct. Cool. So I want to get maybe a little bit deeper with you, and not just, you know, stay on the surface with regards to kind of the ideas and processes. But I want to get really deep in terms of sort of challenges and how you've gotten through different challenges as an entrepreneur. What would you say Emily, was the biggest challenge that you've encountered in your entrepreneurial journey? And how are you able to resolve it?

Emily Merrell  22:39  

I think all of the little challenges I've had throughout the years kind of prepared me for this bigger challenge that I experienced in March of last year. And it was pivoting. It was shuttering basically all of my the events that I had planned for in real life, I'm one of those people that I like to plan my calendar at least six months in advance. So we have things like locked in, or locking in venues way in advance. We're in 10 markets across the country. So it's a lot of coordination. And so in March of last year, when things started shutting down, and stores just kept telling us that they're no longer doing comfortable doing events. I had to I had to quickly give myself a pity party and push it aside and reimagine my entire business. So for years, people have been asking me if I could ever send them recordings of in real life events because they were in a city that they couldn't attend it. And the idea of recording an event felt very high, high touch to me, it felt like I'd have to bring in like a whole production studio to get something done for a very low return. Unfortunately, I've been using zoom for the last few years and it was able to apply the foundations of zoom I paid I quickly upgraded to like 1499 a month, and was like I'm going to test myself out as a speaker, I'll be the first event that we do. And if anyone shows up, you know, maybe we can replicate it once or twice to hold us over until things go back in real life. Lo and behold 200 plus events later, we're still on zoom. But at the very first events we didn't even know about breakout rooms, I was having people drop in the chat their phone numbers to call one another felt very antiquated. I was feeling very, very anxious about pricing and the feeling of charging people when everyone is doing donation based but I continued charging people, although I did lower my prices. And I'm really happy to report that it was the best thing that ever happened to me because I learned how to scale my business in a considerable way. And I was able to collect people from all over the country, including this Alaska member who never would have stumbled across this community or cross paths with any of the individuals had it not been for our virtual room so to speak. And so the learning that I had there was, you know, I'm so grateful. I continue to try Jean, I'm so grateful that I continued being consistent. And truth be told, I have very little desire to go back in real life. Because I think we're giving a lot of value to people, and no people are gonna still want in real life things. But at this stage of my life, that's not it doesn't fulfill me as much as it want as I thought it did, or I wanted it to. And it really took a pandemic for me to take a step back from my business to realize like, was the juice worth the squeeze for me to schlep around town with cheeseboards on my, on my lap and Uber pools, to have an event for 20 people. And now having it from the comfort of my home has been just such a special experience and my client, clientele is endless. Membership is endless. And there's a lot more opportunity. But again, it took a pandemic for me to get out of my own way, and recognize this opportunity.

Justin Keltner  25:58  

I'd love it if you could tell us a little bit more about that, because that's really interesting. Like, obviously, the, the pandemic, you know, we're in the beginning of 2021. Now, the pandemic has affected a lot of people's lives in different ways. But it sounds like for you, it's opened up some doors, and also, you've seen some opportunity from it with regards to just helping people build more connections and build community around them. What's been kind of your experience around that, like how is this pandemic kind of reinvented all that for you as well asr for the people.

Emily Merrell  26:33  

But I think the one thing that I recognized was that I felt very self important before the pandemic, like I needed to be a half to be like, those were words that came out of my mouth way too often have to be in New York every month to be top of mind, I have to be in Miami or in LA or whatever the places where and you know, truly connection can be found from from the comfort of your home. And in a time frame, I realized how much time we spent craving connection and community from getting dressed, to going in the car to getting stuck in traffic to you know, all the different steps to get you into that particular room. And I'm not discrediting it, I would not change my career trajectory for the life of me. But I think it is really, the pandemic happened in a really fortunate time, in that we have these capabilities to create community from home. And with the way that we were hosting the events. It also didn't limit like the speakers that we were bringing out. You know, before I would be like Justin, can you speak to our New York chapter when you're in visiting New York, and the next time we were in LA, can we coordinate a trip, then you speak to LA, we're able to streamline that process? So yeah, my big aha was, community is still still something that happens through the comfort of home, I've made connections and friendships that are stronger. And I have it dawns on me that I haven't met half of these people in real life. And it's only going to be that much more special when I do meet them in real life. But that I can still feel that, that charge of energy and that excitement of stepping into a room virtually.

Justin Keltner  28:25  

So just kind of one final question. What do you think is one thing, you know, one, maybe homework assignment, if you will, that you can give to our listeners that are trying maybe to build their network to expand their community? And to reach out and connect with more people? What's one piece of advice that you can give them?

Emily Merrell  28:48  

Oh, gosh, I love homework assignments. So I challenge you to find something that you're interested in. I think, back to networking being this really scary, daunting thing. I think once you reimagine how networking looks and feels, if you're passionate about let's see, what are we passionate about? I'm going to save puppies, I'm just going to I don't know why puppies are the first thing on my mind right now, or babies are something that you want to do. It doesn't have to be entrepreneur, entrepreneurial, focused. But finding something that you're passionate about is a great way to start building community with like minded individuals. If you're looking for just entrepreneurs, similarly, find a topic that you know will attract entrepreneurs and experience it. There are some events that do camera only and they disable the chat. They do camera on but then they disable the chat. So you can't have that interpersonal connection during the webinar. So one of my hacks is to screenshot the names and then reach out to them on LinkedIn afterwards and be like, hey, it was I saw we were both at this event today. Are you also in the Bay Area, or I saw you're also in the Bay Area. It's not abnormal to have a follow up from someone that you may not have made a connection with at that experience. And think creatively, like a lot of CO working spaces have pivoted digitally. You don't have to think just what's happening in your city anymore, either. So if you're interested in art, I know a lot of museums are creating extraordinary opportunities to, to visit museums digitally, or wineries or cooking classes. So think creatively with how you approach connection and community moving forward and don't dismiss the digital networking until you try it.

Justin Keltner  30:43  

Awesome. That's, that's really great. I mean, network digitally. Follow up with people from events. I've been doing that a lot as well as I go to different events with chambers of commerce and things like that. I'll actually do exactly that, you know, screenshot those people that are on their follow up with them on LinkedIn. If they have the chat, you know, I'll copy that I'll reach out to the people that I kind of connected with and even some of the other people that were there. That's all really great. So yeah, thank you so much for all of your time today, Emily, I really appreciate you bringing all these great tips and insights and tricks and sharing your story and thanks for thanks for being  my first guest here.

Emily Merrell  31:18  

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. I can say I knew him when he just started his podcast.

Justin Keltner  31:25  

Awesome. It's been a lot of fun. Thanks again. Thanks.